My beloved mom died 17 days ago. She was my best friend, my guiding light, my beacon of hope. She was sick with lung cancer but the medication she had worked so great for her. Unfortunately, she got sepsis from UTI we had (and neither did she) no idea about. She was gone in a week ever since she was admitted into the hospital. I could not believe it and I still cannot. I feel numb, I was numb during her funeral, I am numb even now. All of my relatives cried, I did not. I am just hollow. When I was picking songs for her funeral, I had this one time crying session, very ugly one, alone… Is this normal? Shouldn’t I cry more? What is wrong with me? She was my number one person in my life, nobody else can and ever could match her.
My other concern is this – me and my dad usually share a bottle of light wine (around 12%) during most evenings. Ever since my mom is gone, sometimes, we share a bottle and a half. It is not everyday, it is not a habit… Sometimes, it just happens. Is it normal? Are we becoming alcoholics? My mother was strongly against any kind of alcohol and I do not drink anything else apart from wine… I am just scared it might harm me or destroy me. But it helps. Have you drunk when your loved one passed? Is it normal? I feel like it helps very much. I am never drunk, not even tipsy… The pain just goes away for a bit.
Thank you all for reading this. I wish you the best there is.
