My dad wants my daughter to call his wife Nana. My mother and father got divorced 8 years ago and since then they have been much happier in their own separate lives. My father had an affair with his now wife for many years (while married to my mom) which was the finale straw that broke the camels back.( My mom and dad’s marriage). How I learned of the affair is the main problem.
One day I recieved a phone call while at home asking if my mom was home. I said ” Just a minute she’s right here ” the caller hangs up the phone. I say ” That was weird” My mom and I laugh it off. 30 mins later there is a knock at the door. I opened the door and this woman who I’ve never seen before drops a large box at my feet. She smiles and walks away down my driveway. Im calling out to her saying ” Excuse me , what is this?, HELLO!, who are you? , What are you doing?” The strange woman walks away smiling the whole time. Jumps in a waiting car and drives away.
I bring the box in with caution and it has my mother’s name written on top. My mom asks me to open the box for her. I slowly open the box and find a carefully place photo balanced on a large pile of paper. It’s a photo of my dad naked in a bathtub (genitals not in view). Underneath the photo is a collection of what must have been every anniversary, birthday, love letter and post cards they have very sent to eachother. My mom is crying and feeling incredibly hurt. She is torn in half and I’m just trying to comfort her anyway I can. Im angry and upset myself at this sudden change of events. It was brutal and horrible. The meticulously piled items inside the box just added to the vile act of what this woman did. He is my father and although I was very angry at first I hold no ill will towards him. We have probably the best relationship now then we ever have. ** Also, I should add my dad had no idea she was going to do that. **
My daughter is four years old now,(The only grand kid ) and i’ve been trying to forgive this woman and put it behind me , but I cannot. I only allowed her to hold my baby girl one time ever. When we have dinner and I go over to my dad’s place because I want him to have a relationship with my daughter so it’s civil and cordial , with a lot of effort on my part. Now he wants me to have my daughter call this woman Nana.
I just can’t get over that night. It was vile, cruel and incredibly stupid of this woman(My dads wife). I’ve honestly tried but I just cannot bring myself to forgive her so I will not let my daughter call her that or have that relationship with her. It’s makes me angry and sick to my stomach still to this day. She has never apologized or even acknowledged that day.
Am I being an asshole? Should I not say anything? Please tell me your judgment reddit.
