I Refused to Babysit My DIL’s Kids — Unless She Follows My 2 Rules

The letter.

bestie it’s your fault you’re even agreeing on babysitting

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So she decided to speak up.

I told my DIL, “If you want me to babysit regularly, I’ll need to be paid.” She rolled her eyes and said, “You’re their grandma. Don’t be dramatic.” I sent a modest bill anyway. The next day, she sent me a bill for groceries, highlighting everything I’d eaten while babysitting. That’s when I called my son.

He sided with his wife. “Mom, I get that you’re tired, but you’re talking about your grandkids. Don’t be so harsh.” I felt blindsided. “Yes, and I love them,” I said, “but I can’t keep giving up my time and energy with no boundaries. I’m burnt out.” The call ended awkwardly.

For a few weeks, she didn’t offer to babysit.

I needed space, and honestly, I hoped they’d see how much I’d been doing. Then one morning, my DIL showed up with the kids, looking stressed. “I need to get to a doctor’s appointment. Can you help? Just for a few hours.”

I wanted to say yes, but I laid down some rules:

  1. I’ll babysit only when a nanny is also present because I’m too old to watch the kids alone.
  2. She has to pay me for my time, because I’m not a free nanny.

She can choose either option, but she was upset and said, “Then what’s the point? Can’t you just be their grandma?!”

Now I feel torn. Am I being heartless? Or just finally setting boundaries I should’ve set long ago? I love my grandkids, but I don’t want to feel used.

  • LindaR_54 • 1.2k points • 6 hours ago
    Your DIL needs a reality check. Being a grandma isn’t a job; they need to appreciate your time and effort.
  • BettyLou50 • 980 points • 4 hours ago
    I would’ve done the exact same thing. You can’t give love if you’re being taken advantage of.
  • CarolAnn_59 • 870 points • 2 hours ago
    Paying you is completely fair. Grandkids are a blessing, but you still have your own life and limits.

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