I (21m) was 6 when my mom and stepdad met. My stepdad’s son “Harry” was 7. My mom and stepdad dated for 2.5 years before they got married and we lived together for 9 months before their wedding. Harry hated his dad dating my mom and he hated me for liking his dad. He was a real asshole to me. My stepdad always corrected him and tried to keep him from hurting me. But I was miserable. I told my mom how miserable I was and she told me it’d get better. When I said I didn’t want to live with him anymore she told me we had to because we were a family and sometimes siblings don’t get along the best and it’s okay for us to not be close.
To name a few of the things I had to endure while living with Harry. He would spill water on or stain my homework, he broke a model I had finished for a class assignment and he deleted assignments off the family computer when I finished them. He would shut doors on my feet or hands. He threw shit at me, but specifically my head. He called me a freak of nature all the time. When we went to my stepdad’s family members houses he’d get his cousins to all gang up on and exclude me and a few of them were still nice to me but he threatened to leave them out if they spent time with me. He broke my Christmas gifts one year. Smashed or ruined them all and he got into BIG trouble for that but he still taunted me that I got nothing. In high school a teacher we shared took both our classes on an educational field trip and he tried to get me left behind and he sprayed me with water to make it look like I peed my pants.
Again, that’s a few things he did. He was open about hating me and he’d ignore me sometimes to make a point of it. Like one time he hogged the salt because he saw I wanted it and he refused to give it to me or answer when I asked for it and he tried to stop my stepdad giving it to me. Harry would always get his friends to taunt me too. One incident with all of them made me lose a tooth and as upset and freaked out as my mom was she still stayed with my stepdad and made me live with Harry.
He took a gap year after high school so I didn’t even get the freedom of him leaving for college and that was another hellish year and I had to do all my homework at friends houses or the library in case he fucked with it.
I started pulling away from my mom at like 15 and she noticed and tried to be all loving and sweet to me but I wasn’t okay with her. When I started college I moved out. I packed all my stuff and refused to go back “home”. Mom told me not to react like I was and Harry didn’t even live with them full time anymore. And she’d say we were both adults now and our relationship would improve. I told her I would never spend another second with him and I said that did mean I would skip family holidays and such because there was no way I would agree to be around Harry again. I told her I blocked him everywhere and didn’t care what happened but nothing would make me share the same airspace as him again.
My mom tried to act like we were good but I pulled away more and started ignoring her calls and stuff. I don’t go home for holidays, I refuse to attend anything that Harry’s going to be at. I went to see my grandparents last week and mom showed up to talk to me. She wanted to know why I was ignoring her and not visiting her and my stepdad. I told her she failed me and put her own wishes before me, my safety, my childhood and I wasn’t going to wipe it away because my stepdad was good to me. I told her I despise Harry and I don’t care if he grows into an amazing person some day he will never be my family and I will never let him back into my life. And I told her I won’t start acting like we’re okay either because I am so mad at her. She left really upset and my grandparents talked to me about stuff.
Then my uncle texted me and asked what happened between me and mom and he told me I can feel like I do about mom not protecting me better but she’s still my mom. He also told me I lose out by refusing to make nice with Harry and be there for family holidays. I told him the holidays I have now are better than all the ones with Harry in them combined. I said I did not feel like I was missing out at all. He said it’s so extreme because I have a huge family who loves me and wants to see me.
